Dear residents...

Dear residents,

I'd like to inform you that you are NOT God's gift to man. Just because you have an MD behind your name does not make you any more special than a nurse. You do not need to be ignorant to the nurses. Trust me, it's not a good idea. The nurses are helping you out most of the time and saving your a$$. A lot of the time, the nurses have seen a lot more than you have in your residency. Oh yeah, just because you're pregnant does not give you an excuse to be a royal b!tch, either. Please note this and change your attitude before it gets you in trouble.

Thanks ever so much,
Your loving nurses

Uhhh... I don't know her last name.

I'm sorry, but if you come to visit someone in the hospital, please know their last name!! This is a common occurrence around here.

Visitor: "I'm here to visit my daughter, Kiki."
Us: "What's her last name."
Visitor: "I don't know her last name."
Us: "We have to know her last name to be able to find her.... Is Kiki her full name?"
Visitor: "No, it's her nickname."
Us: "So what's her first and last name."
Visitor: "Her first name is Kira... I don't know her last name. The baby's name is Sheniqua Jones."
Us: "Is Jones your daughter's last name too?"
Visitor: "No, I don't know it."

Seriously, you don't know your daughter's last name?! Please...

You should have to pass a test in order to have kids....

The other day at work, I walked into a patient's room who had just had twins. I was talking to the teen mother and father of these twins when the dad says to me, "I guess it's not true when they say you become sterile after being kicked in the balls a lot." Niiiiice.

This is exactly why you should have to pass both an intelligence test and a common sense test. Maybe not pass both, but at least have a high enough score on one or the other to balance out the one you didn't do so good on. Any thoughts?